It all started with a girl about her spiritual calling and destiny…
I have been wishing myself to be an evangelist since Jesus Christ became my Savior 28 years ago. However, God has his own plan and timing! After having done and served a few jobs and positions, such as government officer, preschool teacher, and church Sunday school teacher, college Christian fellowship vice chairman, church fellowship praying lead, and church secretary, I eventually realize that through demonstrating people how to experience God’s power in prayers, guiding them to get healed from their wounded inner child, and helping them restore their relationships with God and family have made me gain the most bliss in my life.
The longest journey of my life was the journey to search for who I am. It is certainly not a universal experience, but I know I’m not an exception, either. There are people who from the moment of their birth were fortunate enough to be accepted and raised up by their parents (caregivers) for who they were, with all their needs and feelings. My experience was different. I survived my early years by becoming a Perfect one and Heroine in my life. It was very likely, in order to take care of our parent(s) or the needs of the family system, we would develop a kind of power that resulted from sacrificing ourselves. In other words, we might give up our reality, or means we survived by abandoning our true selves.
It’s my belief that not everyone needs to be in formal therapy, while I believe that many do. I sincerely wish that people could find the psychotherapists who would be respectful enough to answer their questions; empathic enough when they need to release their rage; free enough to show indignation about what their parents have done to them; wise enough not just simply preach to them to forget the hurts, ask them to forgive anyways, and do meditation or positive thinking. It’s very important to be aware of not increasing the life-long feelings of guilt in the therapy. The achieved worldwide recognition psychiatrist Alice Miller also writes, “We become free by transforming ourselves from unaware victims of the past into responsible individuals in the present, who are aware of our past and thus able to live with it.”
I want to thank Rev. James Chang for having been guiding me to experience the power of God’s healing on the repressive feelings and memories behind the picture of my idyllic childhood. I also want to thank several authors such as pastor John Sandford who wrote The Transformation of the Inner Man, Pastor John Clark who wrote God’s Plan for Healing the Heart, John Bradshaw who wrote The Family, and Healing the Shame That Binds You, and Alice Miller who wrote The Drama of the Gifted Child, etc… I’m sorry for not having enough space to list all of them here. Through understanding the precious insights of these authors on childhood and the family relationships, I finally acknowledged that “parents are NOT perfect.” This awareness was so important to me that it helped me come out of my idealization of my parents. I don’t mean to blame our parents. In fact, I love and respect my parents and I’m very grateful to my parents for their efforts to raise me up. It’s also the most joyful to know that our Creator has not abandoned us and has a wonderful plan to bring healing and salvation to the human race.
Healing is happening in a process. It consists of the original pain work (grieve work), that won’t end at one day, one week or one month. Alice Miller writes, “The achievement of freedom—is hardly possible without the felt mourning. This ability to mourn, i.e., to give up illusion of a happy childhood, can restore vitality and creativity… if a person is able to experience that he was never loved as a child for what he was, but for his achievements, success and good qualities… and that he sacrificed his childhood for this love, this will shake him very deeply.” The grieve work is so painful that why we try to hold onto our denials and delusions. However, if we’re willing to reliving the early fear (sadness, anger, hatred,…) produced in the past, it leads to real healing.
The work of Holy Spirit can help us retrieve our traumatic memories repressed in our childhood and anytime in the past as long as we believe in God and have faith to come to Him. The Lord lives! He understands us because He created us and has the great power to see us from the inside out. The unconditional love of Jesus Christ can heal our hearts and He will forgive our sins and enable us to forgive those who hurt us in the past. How amazing grace is it! Dear friends, God is waiting for you to totally surrender yourselves to Him, tell Him you’re powerless, and let Him help you find back your lost authentic self!
Thank God with all my heart! He not only saved me but also transformed me out of the bondage of perfectionism. Meanwhile, I have been very glad to see how God helped people rebuild their self-esteem and they eventually develop very well on their family relationships. There are also special thanks to my husband and my two children. Without their technical support, this site wouldn’t be established. All in all, the mission of this site is going to demonstrate people how the family systems in our society become chronically dysfunctional, explore the causes of family conflicts and troubled hearts, and how people can get healed from the family-reinforced behavior traps such as addiction and co-dependency… through God’s Word, love and forgiveness of Jesus Christ and the work of Holy Spirit. I sincerely wish each one of you can totally and unconditionally accept yourself, and entering into union with God, you can look at yourself through the eyes of God! You are the unique one created by God’s image!!!
“Surely He took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered Him stricken by God, smitten by Him, and afflicted. But He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon Him, and by His wounds we are healed.” ISAIAH 53: 4-5
God bless you,