Spanking Makes Aggressive, Depressed Kids? Spanking Linked to Mental Illness, Says Study. ——-What Does It Mean “Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child?” (1)

“Spanking makes aggressive, depressed kids?” is the latest researched topic posted on Jan.7th from the Shine of Yahoo. The new study has found spanking could harm your kid’s psyche, and a link between spanking and childhood aggression and depression has been found as well. The findings, published in the fall 2012 Journal of Family and Marriage by researchers Andrea Gromoske and Kathryn Maquire-Jack, looked specifically at the fallout from spanking kids under 1-year-old in a sample of 3,870 families across the country. They found it led to three-year-olds who were aggressive–hitting, screaming or having tantrums–and five-year-olds who were depressed or anxious. The study adds more fuel to the fire of the never-ending spanking controversy. Various reports show that up to 90% of parents think a good swat on the behind is okay; one 2010 survey, according to Child Trends Data Bank, found that 75% women (and 64% of men) agreed that kids sometimes need a “good hard spanking.” Still, both the American Academy of Pediatrics and the American Psychological Association are against the practice.

Spanking or slapping your children may increase the odds that they will develop mental health issues that plague them in adulthood, a new study also suggests last year. Researchers in Canada found that up to 7 percent of a range of mental health disorders were associated with physical punishment, including spanking, shoving, grabbing or hitting, during childhood. Corporal punishment was associated with increased odds of anxiety and mood disorders, including major depression, panic disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, agoraphobia and social phobia. Several personality disorders and alcohol and drug abuse were also linked to physical punishment, the researchers found.

For the study, published online July 2 in the journal Pediatrics, the researchers used 2004-2005 data on about 34,000 individuals aged 20 or older gathered from the U.S. National Epidemiologic Survey on Alcohol and Related Conditions. Participants were questioned face-to-face and asked, on a scale of “never” to “very often,” how often they were ever pushed, grabbed, shoved, slapped or hit by their parents or another adult living their home. Those who reported “sometimes” or greater were considered as having experienced harsh physical punishment.

In the books of “Healing the Shame That Binds You” and “The Family”, the author John Bradshaw shares his opinion on physical abuse. He highlights that the physical offender was once a victim who was powerless and who was humiliated. Parents who physically humiliate and abuse their own children were typically abused when they were young. They have never resolved the internalized shame in their own lives. I agree to Bradshaw’s thought on “The victims become the offenders in the future.” From the spiritual point of view, it conforms to the law of “sow and reap.” Romans 2:1, “You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgement on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgement do the same things.”

In the book of Bradshaw, there was a man named Hub, an ACoA (Adult Children of Alcoholics), and like a lot of ACoAs, he was physcially abused as a child. An estimated two-thirds of ACoAs are victims of physical violence. Bradshaw said that many researchers believe that physical abuse is the most common form of abuse. The poisonous pedagogy teaches that corporal punishment is a useful way to teach children to respect their parents and be obedient. Bradshaw believed that physical violence is the norm in many dysfunctional families. This includes actual physical spankings; having to go get your own weapons of torture such as belts, switches, etc.; punching, slapping and/or slapping in the face; pulling on or yanking on a child; choking, shaking, kicking, pinching; torturing with tickling; threatening with violence or abandonment; threatening with being put in jail or having the police come; witnessing violence done to a parent or sibling. A witness to violence is a victim of violence.

Parents in the world all wish their children to be good, and even outstanding among others, therefore, a lot of time parents are strict enough and forget to let their children feel enjoyable and loved in the families. In contrast, children feel abandoned!  A parent’s expectation might be so high to let the 4-year-old kid to do something beyond his own age and ability that the parent can show off before others. Some kids’ get grade C, their parents would think they’d better get a B. If a kid get a grade A, then the parents might want him (her) to be on the top in class. Sometimes parents just look like tyrants from kids’ views, for the parents are so hard to please.

It’s well known that the anxiety of adults could often result from the family and environment of childhood. Although time passed by, the impact might still be kept in the person’s subconsciousness. A person named William in the book of “The Art of Understanding yourself” written by Cecil G. Osborne, When he was four years old, he had often been spanked because of disobedience. Ultimately, William learned to be obedient to his parents. He would not be against his parents openly, but he kept the rage against his parents in his heart. William knew how to be a “good” child to survive in the family. When William went to the school, he started to bully other kids who were weaker than him, his teachers punished him severely. Later on William attended the middle school, and he began to steal stuffs, but not being found. People around him were often disgusted with his other rebellious behaviors as well. William did not relieve his anxiety until he encountered the healing from the Lord Jesus. Jesus not only healed his heart and mind but also his arthritis and other diseases which bothered him once a while.

I had met a couple of parents in the past who had been suffering from their children’s mental health problems. I understood it was such a big burden for the parents to face the fact that themselves might be the origin of problems who caused their children’s health issues. I felt very sad to say that some parents just chose to discontinue the healing process after knowing the fact. Please don’t get me wrong. It’s not the purpose to convict anybody. Humans are imperfect. We all sinners. Only God has the right to judge. I just think most Neuroses are rooted in the past, and it’s important to get to the root of tremendous anxiety. The basis of it almost certainly lies below the level of conscious memory. The root of anxiety has to be dug out and the person will be healed.

Then how shall the parents discipline their children? The phrase “Spare the rod, spoil the child” comes from Proverbs 13:24 in the Holy Bible. “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.” Proverbs 23:13-14, “Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death.” In the verses of 13 and 14, “die” means spiritual death.  From Romans 5:12-19, we know all children are born with sinful nature. It means that they are not born with any natural “goodness” in them. Their natural self is destructive and unrighteous. However, that doesn’t mean they aren’t infinitely valuable and worthy of love. The Lord uses discipline to reveal our sin to us. This is also how parents reveal the truth of our need for a Savior to their children. When a child does not feel the consequence of his sin, he will not understand that sin requires punishment. The Lord Jesus dies for our sins. Through His salvation, our sins will be forgiven.

Some Bible scholars think the word “rod” indicates a thin stick or switch that can be used to give a small amount of physical pain with no lasting physical injury. A child should never be bruised , injured, or cut by a physical correction. Physical discipline is always done in love, never as a vent to the parent’s frustration. Ephesians6:4, it says, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” The Holy Bible warns that parents should never abuse the power and authority they have over their children while they are young because it provokes the children to righteous anger.

It’s not easy for being a qualified parent who conforms to the principles of the Holy Bible. A qualified parent has to get much patience, love, and wisdom from the Lord. I’m also the mother of two children, so I know how it is going. Through God’s mercy, love, and help, I have been making my efforts all the time to learn to be a qualified parent,too, however, I know it still has room to grow on my parenting and it is hardly perfect. Perhaps your child has been a grown-up now, but it’s never too late to ask the Lord’s forgiveness for yourself and His healing for your child. The following article, I’ll have more sharing on how to pray for your inner child since you’ve ever got hurt by corporal punishment in the childhood. We’ll also talk about how the image of your father in your personal view influences the relationship between you and the Lord.

Just feel free to e-mail me when you have questions in your process of inner child healing or questions about Christianity. Can’t wait to see you soon next time.

God bless,

Miriam White

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” -PHILIPPIANS 4:6-7

Posted in Christianity, corporal punishment, Holistic Healing, Inner Child Healing, Mental Health, Neuroses, Out of Depression, Parenting, Physical abuse, Psychotherapy, Spirituality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Jesus Wept.

“Jesus wept.” (John 11:35) is the shortest verse in the Holy Bible. Why did Jesus weep ? Jesus wept for Lazarus, a friend of Jesus. Lazarus was sick and died. I think Jesus also wept for Lazarus’ two sisters, Martha and Mary, because of their unbelief. Martha and Mary did not truly believe in Jesus, the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords.

The Devil is on our land! Dear Lord, I think you weep for us now. Please heal us! Our hearts are broken. Oh, Lord, Please heal the people who are suffering from the loss of their dearest sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, and families in the Sandy Hook Elementary massacre. The people need your love and help, LORD, to continue their life.

The Healing of a Demon-possessed Man (Luke 8:26-33)

They sailed to the region of the Gerasenes, which is across the lake from Galilee. When Jesus stepped ashore, he was met by a demon-possessed man from the town. for a long time this man had not worn clothes or lived in a house, but had lived in the tombs. When he saw Jesus, he cried out and fell at his feet, shouting at the top of his voice, “What do you want with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I beg you, don’t torture me!” For Jesus had commanded the evil spirit to come out of the man. Many times it had seized him, and though he was chained hand and foot and kept under guard, he had broken his chains and had been driven by the demon into solitary places. Jesus asked him, “What is your name?” “Legion,” he replied, because many demons had gone into him. And they begged him repeatedly not to order them to go into the Abyss. A large herd of pigs was feeding there on the hillside. The demons begged Jesus to let them go into them, and He gave them permission. When the demons came out of the man, they went into the pigs, and the herd rushed down the steep bank into the lake and was drowned.  

When those tending the pigs saw what had happened, they ran off and reported this in the town and countryside, and the people went out to see what had happened. When they came to Jesus , they found the man from whom the demons had gone out, sitting at Jesus’ feet, dressed and in his right mind; and they were afraid. Those who had seen it told the people how the demon-possessed man had been cured. Then all the people of the region of the Gerasenes asked Jesus to leave them, because they were overcome with fear. So He got into the boat and left. 

The man from whom the demons had gone out begged to go with Him, but Jesus sent him away, saying, “Return home and tell how much God has done for you.” So the man went away and told all over town how much Jesus had done for him.

From the above story, there are at least a few facts we can find out:

1. Jesus loved the Demon-possessed man and was willing to heal him.

2. Even the Demons recognize Jesus. They know Him, Son of  the Most High God.

3. The Demons truly exist just as the Holy Bible reveals from the beginning to the end.

4. The Demons can possess people for some reasons.

5. People can easily reject the grace of Jesus because of their fear.

I know some gifted Christians are able to test the spirits to see whether they are from God or the Demons. (1 John 4: 1-3) Some people with mental problems are not necessarily the Demon-possessed people. However, some people have the symptoms of mental problems but are actually Demon-possessed. The demons can possess people only when the people open the doors for them. For example, anything engages in violence, murders, drugs, witchcraft, or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead. Hate may also remain the hidden and important factor related to the issue.

In my mind, it truly comes up a couple of suggestions to our society:

1. For parents: Please use the unconditional love to love and accept your children because they are unique. Guide your children in God’s way. Look for the resources from the society to assist you and do not hide the problem when you are in need of help.

2. For people: Please respect each other, for everyone was created in God’s image. Do not despise people who are with special needs. With the right guidance, the people with special needs will perform very well just as you and me.

3. For church: Please do not limit God’s power. Get up and get revival! Take the responsibility to help people know Jesus as the Lord and experience His power of healing!

Before the Christmas Eve, I wish God’s peace will be with all of you and your families. May you have a Merry Christmas and refreshed New Year!           By Miriam White

Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I. “If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.” ( Isaiah 58:9-12)

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The Steps to Overcome the Strongholds in Your Marriage—–Transforming Your Inner Child Within May be the Key (2)

Thanksgiving Banner Email Salutation

“Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us…” Ephesians 3:20

Hi there,

I have received a few questions from you asking that why they always think “He hasn’t ever thought of going out with me, and just sleeps all day long when he’s not working.” “I’m always on my own. He never takes care of the kids.” “She always gossips, but knows nothing.” “He is so bossy just like my dad.” “She likes everything to be perfect. I just fail her and she is always mad of me.” “I don’t know why I just want to leave her alone.”  Are these people now suffering from the laws of “root of judgement and expectation” and “sow and reap”? Yes, it is likely.

There was a case written in the book of “The Transformation of the Inner Man” talking about how a woman was controlled by her own compulsive behaviors in her marriage and how she got the immediate effect from the prayer. She was completely set free by the Lord! The Lord Jesus rescued her marriage as well. The following story was her testimony. The woman, Ann, was a Christian who loved the Lord and her husband. Her husband was a devout Christian as well.  However, she couldn’t control herself but often out of her home, got drunk and committed adultery with a man who she didn’t like at all. She was so confused by herself that she asked for help from Rev. Sandford.

Ann was adopted since her birth by a couple who were kind and loved the Lord.  Ann’s original mother, still didn’t get married when she was 40 years old, but committed adultery with an alcoholic who was married. The man chose to leave her mother and went back to be with his wife. Ann’s mother was pregnant. She was so ashamed of herself for the pregnancy that she decided to give the baby away.  The baby was Ann. Ann didn’t know anything about her original parents when she grew up. However, through the prayer this time, the Holy Spirit of God revealed her past story. The past story was eventually proved by Ann’s adoptive mother to be true.

We must understand that our spirits can sense everything which happened in the surroundings even when we were still so little in the mothers’ wombs. “When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the baby leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit.”( Luke1:41 )  I just recalled a healing case from my church before. A sister came to the pastor and told him that she was so afraid of death every day. She was just like facing the moment of the instant death. After the prayer, the sister saw the picture coming up in her mind showing she was curling up herself in her mother’s womb and her mother was lying on the surgery bed waiting for the abortion. At last, her mother changed her mind, so the sister didn’t die from the abortion at that time. However, she had sensed she was facing the instant death. She just knew it!

Rev. Sandford thought when Ann was in her mother’s womb, her spirit had sensed everything and judged her parents about their adultery, drunkenness, and her dad forsaking her and her mom. Because of Ann’s judgements, she would surely do a few things herself: 1) forsook somebody (her husband) just as herself was forsaken by her dad; 2) got drunk; and 3) committed adultery. Praise the Lord! Not all of the judgements will have this kind of strong power. Some of them had been purified by the blood of Jesus when we were at the moment of believing in Him, but for those malicious judgements would have the destructive power.

Thank God! I’ve ever helped a small group of women on their marriage relationships before. I admit I’m not mature in my own yet at present. However, I just felt God wanted me to do His work, so I just did it. I shared with them how they could be transformed. Ultimately, first of all, they told me that they figured out their parents marriage relationships had much impacts on their own. Secondly, they understood that both sides (husband and wife) in the marriage had to take the responsibility of managing their marriage and making it better.

Ann’s husband came to pray, too. There was no doubt he had the root of judgement and expectation in him for years. What was it? It was: his woman would forsake him and commit adultery. Therefore, I totally agree that a married person (man or woman) is supposed to ask oneself why he (she) doesn’t become a better or stronger person because of marrying me? Is it possible that my bitter root defiles him (her)? Am I reaping what I sowed through him (her)?

1. Forgiveness:

If we figure out a bitter root behind the problem, there might have an original event out there. Although we may not have any memory of the event when we have grown up, and we do not even feel we ever hate anybody, we’d better face the fact and God’s laws by faith. If there is obvious evidence showing we’re reaping something now, we can proclaim in the name of the Lord Jesus by faith forgive the inner child within and also forgive the sin of judgement we’ve committed. Except for asking the forgiveness for the inner child within, it’s also very essential to ask the forgiveness in the Lord for the sins we’ve committed and the people who hurt us in the past related to this reaping issue. The complete healing will only happen when we can truly appreciate and bless those who were used for us to reap the evil consequence.

2. The cross:

The original event would result in forming certain structure in your personality. The habits and expectations resulted from the judgement will be changed only when bring them to the cross and crucify them. Do it. The Lord Jesus will set you free from the bondage. It is also helpful to say it out loud in your daily prayer to your old structure and tell it how much you hate it, refuse it and don’t want it to control your life. “Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.” ( Romans 12:9 ) As for the “oath” we mentioned last time, just deal with it the same way. “Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires.” ( Galatians 5:24 )

3. God’s Word:

“The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul. The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple. The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving light to the eyes. The fear of the Lord is pure, enduring forever. The ordinances of the Lord are sure and altogether righteous. They are more precious than gold, than much pure gold; they are sweeter than honey, than honey from the comb. By them is your servant warned; in keeping them there is great reward. Who can discern his errors? Forgive my hidden faults. Keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me. Then will I be blameless, innocent of great transgression.” ( Psalm 19:7-13 ) keep on reading God’s words! “Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.” ( Psalm 32:1 )

4. Healing and transformation:

Do the above steps from 1-3. I think you are not far from God’s healing. Perhaps, one day the most surprising thing in your life will happen: the person you hated most before becomes the person you love most now. Give all the glory to our wonderful God!

Wish you have a great Thanksgiving time,

Miriam White

“I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better….I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being,…..” ( Ephesians 1:17, 3:16 )


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Do You Want to Overcome Strongholds in Your Marriage?——-Transforming Your Child Within May Be the Key (1)

Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’ (Matthew 25: 34-40)

First off, I’d like to thank all of you who have shared the Good News ( through referral the site ) to your beloved ones, relatives or friends in last month. The traffic of the site has risen ten times than before. I’m so grateful to the Lord for His Holy Spirit’s fire moving you to do His work. May the Lord  Himself bless and strengthen the work which has been done through us in His Kingdom. Praise God! Give all the glory to you, Lord!

People may be able to list hundreds of factors which would influence their marriage relationships. Today, we’re only going to discover a few invisible strongholds which particularly have existed in your INNER CHILD since your early lives, and these strongholds might have been the destructive roots in you for a long time and caused fatal wounds in your marriage. You might just do not recognize them before. However, the Lord Jesus can demolish these strongholds for you as long as you trust in Him. He can set you free!

Do you know that Jesus has a goal for each of us? Yes, His desire is to completely fulfill it. There is no doubt that Jesus definitely likes His children to enjoy themselves in their marriage relationships.  However, He also knows some of you are now under various kinds of trials in your marriage. He really cares for you. He can rescue your marriage. Well, do you know who ultimately will gain the benefit from being under the trials? Let’s see what God says in the Bible: “Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him.” ( James 1:12 )

I believe that transforming your child within may be more than wise to rescue your marriage. Now, before entering the main part of today’s article, please allow me to  ask you a few questions. Do you live in one side of the wall of defense and your spouse live in the other side? Would you rather spend excessive amount of time indulging yourself in different kinds of hobbies than stay with your wife doing something together? For instance, you’re alone watching TV, playing games or you’re with your friends playing golf, going fishing,….etc. Or, you’d rather work day and night in the office than go back home earlier. Would you rather focus everything on your children than spend time getting together with your husband? Or, you’d rather let your schedule filled with many clubs, classes, and church activities than spend time sharing what you think and how you feel with your husband. If your answer is “yes”, thus, I fully understand you are actually LONELY although you are alone busy with doing a lot of things. I have been there before so I know it.

When I look back my more than twenty year journey of marriage, I know I love my husband now as much as I  met him at the first glance in the Lord long time ago, and I’m sure my husband has the same feelings to me as well. I have to say we had together gone through hard time in our relationships for a period of time because our old natures were on the way of transforming. My husband and I both have dominant parents, and a lot of time our parents were just like rulers in their own kingdoms. During the long journey, thank God, I feel I’m on the way to become the WIFE God wants me to be in my marriage relationships day by day, and the influence from my mom has decreased step by step. My mom has also become one of the sisters in God’s Kingdom. She has been willing to obey God’s will gradually at her old age. This is indeed God’s grace to my family. Praise the Lord! I’m so grateful to the Lord too for I’m able to pray for my father-in- law almost every day for his salvation instead of making judgement on him. I can see him through God’s mercy now. The mercy of God triumphs over judgement! It’s hard for me to do that. Really hard. I cannot accomplish it myself. It is from the power of the Lord. Jesus does it! Jesus heals me! God’s Word frees me!

1. Matthew 5:33-37

Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not break your oath, but keep the oaths you have made to the Lord.’ But I tell you, Do not swear at all: either by heaven, for it is God’s throne; or by the earth, for it is His footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’ and your ‘No’ be ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.

Around 23 years ago, 4 years after I had become a Christian,  Rev. John Standford and his wife Paula, the authors of “The Transformation of the Inner Man” were invited to come to my church for holding a healing meeting. There were a lot of people coming from different churches asking for the prayers from them. Being a young Christian, I was so curious at that time why so many people needed God’s healing. I even did not know how the servants of God ( John Standford and his wife ) would help God’s people. I remembered there were a sister with her husband from my big fellowship group came to attend the meeting as well. I didn’t know what their prayer request was until the sister was pregnant afterwards. I heard she had suffered from miscarriages a few times and was so eager to have a baby. It was so good to know the birth of the baby finally brought a lot of joy to the sister, her husband, and the whole family. Thanks for God’s grace.

“I don’t want to be a mother like my mom” shouted in this sister’s life since her early age. This was the inner OATH which was commanded to the whole body through the sister’s mind and brain. The sister was so eager to have a baby, but the oath which she had made in her just like somebody had programmed in the computer would never change and prohibited her from pregnancy unless somebody could figure it out and break it. The sister was the jewel in her mother’s crown. Her mother thought she could rely everything on her. And she really did. She brought up the smaller children for her mother so that her mother could focus on her career. How many nights the sister felt scared, cried and still must take care of her younger siblings when their mother was not at home. The sister hated her mother because her mother caused the hurt to her so she told herself she hates to be a mother and will never want to become a mother in her own life.

The other oaths such as “I will never have a baby boy.” (Perhaps she got hurt in the relationships with her dad or brother,… etc); “I will never have a baby girl.” (Perhaps she got hurt in the relationships with her mother or sister,…etc); “I will never let any man to touch me again.” (Perhaps she was raped by a man before,eg: dad, brothers, relatives, strangers,..etc); “I will take my revenge on her (mother or sister).” (Perhaps this oath will result in taking his revenge on all women or his own wife or daughter.) “I’ll never get married.” ( Perhaps the person had the severe fear of his parents’ failed marriage. )

Some other oaths don’t seem so bad but may cause some health problems. Some people might transfer their parents’ instructions to be their own inner oaths, such as “You’d better control your temper!”; “Be the best of the best!”; “You are the best”; “Never make the same mistake again!”,…etc. Sometimes I feel these certain kinds of oaths will have bad impacts on the relationships between us and others,too. I know we cannot identify every kind of inner oath by ourselves but the Holy Spirit of God can find all of them out. Praise the Lord!

2. Matthew 7:1-2

Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measures to you.

3.  Galatians 6:7

Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.

4. Deuteronomy 5:16

Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you.

The laws of  “root of judgement and expectation” , “sow and reap” and “honor your parents”  in marriage relationships

A lot of women were ashamed of their fathers for being alcoholics, so they usually married men for being alcoholics or their husbands will become alcoholics sooner or later based on the women’s destructive root of judgement and expectation in the inner beings. If you had the fathers who abused you when you were young, you might marry the men who abused you later, too. The men who brought up by dominant mothers usually attract the women whose personalities are similar to their moms. The cycle will be: alcoholic fathers and inebriate husbands; apathy fathers and aloof husbands; abusive fathers and opprobrious husbands. Picky mothers and fickle wives; nagging mothers and annoying wives; lazy mothers and indolent wives. However, if the children didn’t make any judgement on the parents or ever made judgements but intervened by God’s grace, the children won’t reap what they sowed. Sometimes when the daughter made the judgement on the irresponsible mother instead of the father, the daughter can even reap through her husband what she sowed.  The other time we can also reap through our children, families, relatives, colleagues, or ourselves,…what we sowed!

5.  Romans 2:1

You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgement on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgement do the same things.

Have you ever said you would not yell at your children just like your mom did to you when You were young? Unfortunately you might exactly do the same thing. Have you ever noticed that some people around you suffered from their marriage because they  committed adultery? Or the friends around you might have divorced several times, and they are still struggling in their marriage now. Look at their background. They might just exactly do the same things as their parents did before.

Dear friends, we pray God’s grace to come upon you. The Lord Jesus can not only rescue your marriage but also save you. If you’re willing to know more about Jesus and His salvation, please check the previous article dated 09/16/12. We expect you to become our brothers or sisters in the near future! Praise the Lord!

Dear all, do you know how to completely get out of the bondages in your lives? Please allow me to emphasize it one more time: recite God’s Word, and put God’s Word into practice. I believe after your sins have been forgiven, your inner beings have been healed and strengthened , no longer weak, then you can put God’s Word into practice! You will be blessed when you put God’s Word into practice. It’s the biblical promise. Let’s see what the Bible tells us:

Psalm 1 :2-3

But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.

James 1:25

But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it–he will be blessed in what he does.

Next month we’re going to offer you the steps of healing. Thanksgiving is around the corner, too. I wish to collect the testimonies of God’s healing on you if you have any. Please e-mail me your testimony to Thanks for sharing.

I’m looking forward to seeing you again at Thanksgiving. May you keep on being in the wonderful inner child healing and transformation process!

God bless your marriage,

Miriam White


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Inner Child Healing Q&A and Why Is Jesus Christ the Origin of Healing? (2)

Dear friends,

Do you know what the “good news” is referring to? Jesus and His work of redemption, through His life, death, and resurrection, is called the good news. The plan of redemption meanwhile runs parallel with the fall. In the beginning, God created everything, and He saw that it was good. The man Adam and woman Eve were given a paradise in which to live and have dominion. But sin entered the picture and mankind fell to its allurement. This was the fall. So now do you have better ideas of “good news” ( Jesus Christ ) and “bad news” ( the fall )?  Bad news: there is evil in the world; and our relationships with God and with each other are broken. Good news: God has from the very beginning planned and promised that He would fix what humanity has broken. God’s loving plan of REDEMPTION was unveiled in Jesus Christ, and now we await the glorious return of our Savior Jesus Christ, when all will be made new and perfect. This is the RESTORATION, the final act of God’s plan for us!

Now I’d like to mention a few Scriptures from the Bible which wrote about Jesus, the Savior and His redemption, healing, and restoration. All the prophecies from the old Testament to the New Testament of the Bible which predicted the birth, death, and resurrection of Jesus, the Savior had been fulfilled. I’m sorry for not having enough time to write every prophecy and fulfillment in here.

1. The prophet Isaiah wrote the book of Isaiah of the old Testament in the Bible 700 years ago before Jesus was born.

1) Isaiah 7:14: Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call Him Immanuel.

2) Isaiah 9:6: For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on His shoulders. and He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

3)  Isaiah 53, it predicted: Who has believed our message and to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed? He grew up before Him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground. He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to Him, nothing in His appearance that we should desire Him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces He was despised and we esteemed Him not. Surely He took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered Him stricken by God, smitten by Him, and afflicted. But He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon Him, and by His wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all. He was oppressed and afflicted, yet He did not open his mouth; He was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is silent, so He did not open his mouth. By oppression and judgement He was taken away. And who can speak of His descendants? For He was cut off from the land of the living; for the transgression of my people He was stricken. He was assigned a grave with the wicked, and with the rich in His death, though He had done no violence, nor was any deceit in His mouth. Yet it was the Lord’s will to crush Him and cause Him to suffer, and though the Lord makes His life a guilt offering, He will see His offspring and prolong His days, and the will of the Lord will prosper in His hand. After the suffering of His soul, He will see the light of life and be satisfied; by His knowledge my righteous servant will justify many, and He will bear their iniquities. Therefore I will give Him a portion among the great and He will divide the spoils with the strong, because He poured out His life unto death, and was numbered with the transgressors. For He bore the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.

2. Luke, the physician,and the author of the book of Luke in the new Testament, wrote about the birth of Jesus

1) Luke 1:26-35: In the sixth month, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, to a virgin pledge to be married to a man named Joseph , a descendant of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. The angel went to her and said, “Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you.” Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God. You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give Him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the son of Most High. The Lord God will give Him the throne of His father David, and He will reign over the house of Jacob forever; His kingdom will never end.” “How will this be,” Mary asked the angel, “since I am a virgin?” The angel answered, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will shadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God.

2) Luke  2:1-14: In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) And everyone went to his own town to register. So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn. And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.” Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom His favor rests.”

3. Let’s see how Jesus said about who He was and how He died and rose up the third day:

1) John 8:12: When Jesus spoke again to the people, He said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

2) Mark 10: 32-34: They were on their way up to Jerusalem, with Jesus leading the way, and the disciples were astonished, while those who followed were afraid. again he took the Twelve aside and told them what was going to happen to Him. ‘We are going up to Jerusalem,” he said, “and the Son of Man will be betrayed to the chief priests and teachers of the law. They will condemn Him to death and will hand Him over to the Gentiles, who will mock Him and spit on Him, flog Him and kill Him. Three days later He will rise.”

3) Matthew 26:63-64: …The high priest said to Him, “I charge you under oath by the living God: Tell us if you are the Christ, the Son of God.” “Yes, it is as you say, ” Jesus replied. “But  I say to all of you: In the future you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Mighty One and coming on the clouds of heaven.”

4. The empty tomb and Jesus’ resurrection

1) J0hn 20:1-2: Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance. So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and  said, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don’t know where they have put Him!”

2) John 20:10-18: Then the disciples went back to their homes, but Mary stood outside the tomb crying. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb and saw two angels in white, seated where Jesus’ body had been, one at the head and the other at the foot. They asked her, “Woman, why are you crying?” “They have taken my Lord away,” she said, “and I don’t know where they have put Him.” At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus. “Woman,” he sais, “Why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?” Thinking he was the gardener, she said, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put Him, and I will get Him.”  Jesus said to her, “Mary.”  She turned toward Him and cried out in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” ( which means Teacher). Jesus said, “Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet returned to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, ‘I am returning to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.'” Mary Magdalene went to the disciples with the news: “I have seen the Lord!” And she told them that he had said these things to her.

5. Jesus healed every disease and sickness among the people and performed numerous miraculous signs and wonders.

1) Matthew 4:23-25: Jesus went throughout Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom, and healing every disease and sickness among the people. News about Him spread all over Syria, and people brought to Him all who were ill with various diseases, those suffering severe pain, the demon-possessed , those having seizures, and the paralyzed, and He healed them.Large crowds from Galilee, the Decapolis, Jerusalem, Judea and the region across the Jordan followed Him.

2) Nobody is able to write down everything what Jesus had done when He was on earth. Please read the books of Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, …etc. of the Bible, you’ll get the better picture of God’s mercy and love for mankind.

6. Jesus said about His glorious second coming. Nobody knows when it is! It is the end of the age.

1) Matthew 24:30-31, 36: At that time the sign of the Son of Man will appear in the sky, and all the nations of the earth will mourn. They will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of the sky, with power and glory. And He will send His angels with a loud trumpet call, and they will gather His elect from the four winds, from one end of the heavens to the other….No one knows about the day or hour, not even the angels in heavens, nor the Son, but only the Father.

2) 1 Thessalonians 5:2-3:…for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. While people are saying, “Peace and safety,” destruction will come on them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape.

Christianity is not a religion but a belief which guides you back to the Creator who has created you. A real Christian would deem the Bible (from the old Testament to the new Testament) as truth, because it says, “ll Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.” ( 2 Timothy 3:16 ) Moreover, Christianity is not a dead belief, but a belief which you can experience. Jesus said that He is the Christ, the Son of God. And Jesus has resurrected indeed! Because Jesus is the living God, He can listen to your prayers and answer your prayers.

Dear friends, are you ready to experience Jesus now? I think this might be the opportunity for you to think about it. “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” ( John 3:16 )  Because nobody knows the time when Jesus will return, before His returning, please grab every opportunity which leads you to accept His salvation. If  now the Holy Spirit of God touches you, and you like to come back to the Lord but don’t know how to accept His salvation, please contact me through my e-mail: I’m more than happy to help you enter the kingdom of God and start to experience God’s love and mercy!

“And if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith.” ( 1 Corinthians 15:14 )

The following part of today’s article, I’d like to list Q and A for the inner child healing section. Thank you for the questions you wrote to me . Although just a few people sent me several questions, I know it’s a good start for you and for me. Let’s keep on good work!

1. Q: How could you let a person re-experience the event which had happen 20 or 30 years ago? Was hypnosis used or involved?

1. A: Hypnosis was not used or involved. I don’t know what it is about, so surely I don’t know how to use it. When I prayed for myself or other people, it was the Holy Spirit of God letting the person retrace back to his old memories and ancient pains.

2. Q: I’m not sure whether I’m able to pray for my inner child healing or not. Don’t I need a pastor to pray for me?

2. A: Yes, you can pray for yourself, too. I have been praying for myself and other people, and I haven’t been in any seminary yet. Please read Hebrews 4: 14-16: Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are-yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

3. Q: Some books talk about meditation. What do you think about it? Is it helpful?

3. A: I only meditate on Jesus and God’s words. It’s very important to do that, since the healing comes from Jesus and the truth in the Bible. Those books I have mentioned before, I only read the parts which talked about the dysfunctional family system, as for their methods of meditation, if not focus on Jesus and God’s words, I always skipped them.

4.Q: If I’m taking medication, shall I stop it when I start to pray for myself?

4.A: It’s your choice and you need to consult your doctor. Taking medication doesn’t mean that you don’t have faith in God. As long as the treatment is on the right direction, it’s fine to do the both ( medication and prayers ) at the same time.

5.Q When I prayed to Jesus to bring me back to my past life, an event came up to my mind which hurt me a lot. I felt I hated my dad and my brother, for my dad always compared myself with my brother. He thought “I am stupid” and ‘I am trash.” I have tried my best to please my dad, what else can I do? I feel very guilty  because I hate my dad and brother.

5. A:I feel very sorry about your story. I totally understand how you felt about your dad and brother and why you hated them. It’s very hard to please people as nobody is perfect. We’d better learn to please God. Stop blaming yourself , because only God Himself is the judge. I’m glad that your genuine feelings are out now! Let’s learn to pray for Jesus’ healing and forgiveness.

1) Pray to Jesus  and ask Him to forgive your dad and brother, because they mistreated you.

2) Pray to Jesus and ask Him to forgive you because you hated your dad and brother.

3) Pray to Jesus to give you power to forgive your dad and brother.

4) Stop judging your dad, brother, and yourself. Tell Jesus you’re willing to let Him be the judge.

5) Jesus knows your hurts. Pray to Him and ask Him to pour His love to your heart and heal the wounds. He will, definitely.

6) Pray to Jesus and pray His power to break the stronghold of perfectionism in you because you think you are not good enough. And also break the influences on you from the corrupt talk, such as “You are stupid”, “You are trash.”  In Proverbs 4:24: “Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips.”

7) God’s words for you: Psalm 139:13-16: “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”  God said you are unique. Nobody can replace you in the world. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Please meditate these Scriptures day and night. Believe what God said about you and accept your image which was from God, too.

P.S. After having prayed for the forgiveness, if you still feel hard to forgive the people who hurt you before, that means it might still have some other events related to you and the people who have hurt you, therefore, it had better keep on praying until all the hurts being healed.

6. Q: My church hasn’t mentioned about the ministry of inner child healing. Why?

6 A: In my 27  years of being a Christian, I’ve been staying at 7 churches, and only 2 churches were open to the ministry of inner child healing. I was so blessed to be involved in this ministry. I’ve understood it is God’s will to save people, heal people and transform people’s minds, too. I wish people don’t limit God’s power, and are willing to experience He is a living God day by day!

7.Q: What’s the purpose of your site? I feel this is a good site, but doesn’t have much traffic. Why?

7.A: 1) A I’m glad that you think this is a good site. First off, I’d like to thank those people who like or follow my site. Thank you for you have shown the support to me. I’m a low tech person, and very traditional,too. I seldom use facebook or twitter. I still like to contact people through e-mails. So please feel free to tell people about the ministry of my site if you think it’s helpful. There’s a “follow” button on the web page, click it and put down your e-mail if you like to receive my article when I publish the new one. Thanks!

7.A:2) The purpose of my site is making the disciples of Jesus. This is my calling from the Lord. I wish the ministry of inner child healing through God’s way would reach to the people in the world who are willing to know Jesus or in the needs of His healings. Praise the Lord! So far I saw some people from the states, Great Britain, Australia, Africa, Indonesia..,etc visiting my site through search engines. I’ve been praying for all of you God’s mercy and love will come upon you and you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.

Thank you for taking time to read my article today. I’m looking forward to seeing you on our next topic “marriage”.  Following every topic, we’ll always have the healing and testimony sections.

God bless,

Miriam White

Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. Matthew 28: 19-20.

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Why is Jesus Christ the Origin of Healing?(1)

Dear friends,

Have you ever thought about the question: “Do you have to become a believer in Jesus Christ, before asking healing from Him?” This is a very significant question for everyone, isn’t it? Thanks to the person who e-mailed me this question last week, I’m going to share two stories with you today.

First story:

There was a person who put two bottles in the cabinet at night. ‘A’ bottle only contained clear water and ‘B’ bottle contained clear water mixed with black ink. The person had very strong confidence in what he thought. He affirmed that the ‘B’ bottle would become as clear as the ‘A’ bottle the next morning. However, he was very disappointed by himself the next morning,  ‘A’ and ‘B’ bottles remained exactly the same as the night before, and nothing had changed at all.

Some people think that there isn’t a higher power that controls and causes miracles in the world. Their stereotypic view of Christians: Christians just imagine that circumstances will improve and coincidentally they do. However, this story shows that only will-power changes nothing. I have also noticed some people arguing about the relationship between prayer effects and God in Christianity before. They concluded it isn’t true that Christians attribute the answered prayers to God. These people don’t think there is a living God who answers the prayers.

Let’s see what the bible says about it:

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. (Hebrews 11:1)

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him. (Hebrews 11:6 )

Soon afterward, Jesus went to a town called Nain, and His disciples and a large crowd went along with Him. As He approached the town gate, a dead person was being carried out-the only son of his mother, and she was a widow. And a large crowd from the town was with her. When the Lord saw her, His heart went out to her and He said, “Don’t cry.” Then He went up and touched the coffin, and those carrying it stood still. He said, “Young man, I say to you, get up!” The dead man sat up and began to talk and Jesus gave him back to his mother. They were all filled with awe and praised God. “A great prophet has appeared among us,” they said. “God has come to help his people.” This news about Jesus spread throughout Judea and the surrounding country. ( Luke 7:11-17 )

From the above scriptures we know it is the Lord Jesus who healed the widow’s son, and the healing had nothing to do with the widow’s or the son’s own faith. Please don’t misunderstand me. I didn’t say faith is not important. What I’d like to clarify is if a living God does not exist, no prayers can be answered no matter what faith we have.

Second story:

It was a blessing to me to take part in a church’s ministry several years ago and pray for people’s needs daily. The needs included the bodies , minds, and spirits of the people. I saw that God answered prayers and experienced God daily at this church. Praise the Lord!  I particularly remembered there was a father who brought his son to the pastor and asked for healing prayers. Both the father and son were not believers yet at that time. The son had a high risk of committing suicide any time. When the pastor asked the father whether he knew who Jesus was and His resurrection, the father answered that he had no intention to know anything about Jesus. He only wished for his son to be healed right away. The pastor refused his prayer request at that moment. As a result the son’s health grew worse each day.

A couple of years later, we came back to visit the church after we moved due to my husband’s relocation of his work. We found the father and son as our brothers in God’s kingdom, with the son totally recovered. Thank God. Thanks for the Lord’s mercy!

Would you like to know and believe in Jesus Christ? It’s really important in your life to discover Jesus is the only living God! Please continue to meet Him in my next blog. Thank You!

God bless,

Miriam White

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Inner Child Healing Q and A will be post on 09/16/2012

Hi all,
Have you been starting the journey of inner child healing yet? I’ve received a few e-mails these days for asking some related questions. Thank you. Your questions are very meaningful to all of us. I’ll get the questions all together and answer them on 09/16/2012. But, there was one question I think I have to mention and answer it today. One person asked why nothing really came up to herself after she prayed? Did she have to continue to try? I would say it takes time to calm yourself and fully surrender to God. When people closed their eyes and prayed, they might be still thinking a lot of questions, such as: what would God want me to do? Would He embarrass me? Would He force me to forgive somebody who hurt me before? I don’t like to change myself anyway because it’s not my fault. I’m afraid God won’t help me when I come to Him because I’m such a bad person,etc.

I would say when you come to the Lord Jesus, just focus on Jesus Himself! Who you are and what you have done and become or what you’re thinking is not as important as who He really is! Jesus is the only one savior! I have some suggestions for you. First, come to the Lord and tell Jesus what really bother you now and ask Him to help you surrender before Him. Second, trying to listen carefully the small voice from the Lord is going to tell you. Third, trying to read the Bible every day is very essential. Fourth, come to the Lord as many times as you can and never give up when nothing happen after you pray. Fifth, any decision or action you’ll make or take must conform to the principles of the Bible.

I wish this site could be the small workshop for “How to heal your inner child?” through God’s way. This is your chance to experience that Jesus is the only one real and living God. Please do not fall behind!

God bless,

Miriam White

For my Father’s will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in Him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day. ( John 6:40 )

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